A Day in the Life of the Justice League International
by saruviel
Summary: Various adventures of the JLI, from New Characters in the Justice League Antarctica, to more standard adventures of the JLI. Set in the 80s/90s Giffen/DeMatteis era. Blue Beetle & Booster Gold feature a lot.


A Day in the Life of the

Justice League International

by Daniel Thomas Andrew Daly

.com

© 6175 SC - © 2011 CE/AD

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 1:

Lord Slime's Vengeance

'I've been wondering. What is an antihero?' said Blue Beetle.

'Shut up ted,' said Black Canary.

'No, seriously, go with me on this. What is an anti-hero?'

Miracle, sitting at the control panel, finally took an interest in the inane conversation going on between Canary and the Beetle.'

'A bad guy, bluey.' Said Miracle, confidently.

'But is it more than that, Mr Mr?' asked BB in return

Guy, sitting over next to ice, trying one of his latest pickup lines, said,

'Hey – I'm an antihero.'

'Shut up Guy,' said Canary.

'No, seriously guys. It is what I do best. Sort out the wannabes. The commies from the rest of us.'

'You and your bloody commies,'s said Canary. 'Always with the Commies.' There is always a red under the bed, Canary. But Guy Gardner sorts them out.'

BB continued unperturbed. 'Lobo. Now he is an antihero.'

'Lobo,' screeched Canary. 'He is plain evil.'

'Nah. He has a soft side,' continued BB.

'Yeh. As soft as your brain more like it,' replied Canary.

'I guess that is an antihero. He, or she, is a hero, in the end. They have a tough time getting there. But they make it.'

Canary looked at him thoughtfully. 'Perhaps,' she said after a while

Underneath the sewers of the Justice League Headquarters, Lord Slime was considering his next move. Which sewer to choose? He thought to himself. What they hey, this one will do,' he said, sliding into one of the pipes heading upwards.

'Of course, they make heaps of mistakes. But they learn. Even the Fabulous Blue Beetle has made mistakes from time to time, dare I say it.'

'From time to time? Asked Canary?

'Yeh. Well ok. Lots of little times. But hey, whose counting.

Miracle, snidely from the corner of his mouth whispered. '492 and counting.' Canary grinned a little, and Bluey blushed.

Lord Slime emerged into a kitchen. Coming into his form he looked around? Nobody present. He would look around then.

'And they suffer the taunts of the elite so often. As if they had worked it out instantly. I mean, hey, it takes time to be a hero.'

'Whatever,' Canary, playing with a Rubiks cube. 'Ooh. I got a side,' she said, ever so pleased.

'Yet, in the end, the get the glory as well. Everything, as Big Blue would say, usually works out.'

Just then Lord Slime appeared in the room. 'Grrrr. He said.' Everyone looked at him for a moment, and then ignored him, BB returning to his conversation.

'Yes, life is good for the Antihero in the end.'

Lord Slime looked concerned. What was their problem? He would try again? 'Grrrrr. Grrrrr,' he repeated. Again they gave him a cursory look, but returned to what each was focused on.

Bluey spoke. 'Take Lord Slime over their, for instance. He is probably just an anti-hero in training. Looks like he would be suited to Justice League Antarctica.' Canary looked at Lord Slime and said, 'Yeh, I guess.' Miracle looked at him. 'Probably feel right at home?'

Lord Slime looked a them, and finally, giving up, walked over and sat down on the table. 'Got an oreos? He asked, to which Bluey handed him a chockie bikkie, which Lord Slime, finally finding a home, dutifully munched on.

THE END

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 2:

Lord Slime and the Justice League Antarctica

'Grrrr.'

'Very funny, Slimey,' said Big Sir.

'Grrr,'

'You made a funny,' the giant man said again.

'Grrr.'

As they hovered around the inner sanctum of the Justice League Antarctica headquarters, suddenly a flashing light started going off.

Big Sir looked confused, but Lord Slime pushed the big red button, as he had been forthrightly told to do in such circumstances, and the screen zeroed in on a flock of penguins all following a giant looking penguin.

'This looks like a job for – da da da darrr – Lord Slime,' said the green man.

When Big Sir finally had his skis on, backwards albeit, they took off in the general direction of the penguins.

The Penguin King was ready – he would defend his sacred homeland against the invasion of the dreaded Justice League Antarctica which, while it currently had only two members – Big Sir and Lord Slime – was still posing a threat to the future of his community. The Penguin King was actually a shrivelled old dwarf who lived with the penguins and ate fish to survive, so ostracized had he become from his own society. But he liked his life and would not share it with the JLA.

Big Sir and Lord Slime soon came to a rise and found the Penguin King and his horde approaching.

'Look at the big penguin. He's funny,' said Big Sir.

'Hilarious,' responded Lord Slime, and pulled out a giant net gun. Taking aim he shot it and it covered over the giant penguin and his entourage.

Closing in on them, the Penguin King broke free of the net and started shooting arrows from his penguin flippers at them.

'Take that Superhero Losers,' exclaimed the giant Penguin.

Some of the arrows lodged into Big Sir who didn't react, but they passed right through Lord Slime's gooey body.

Slimey turned to Big Sir. 'Throw me at him.'

'Uh, throw you at him?' queried Big Sir.

'Throw me at him,' Lord Slime said again.

So, quickly going solid as Big Sir picked him up and threw him at their adversary, Lord Slime suddenly disintegrated and covered the Penguin King with goo.

Later on, back at the headquarters, they were talking with Blue Beetle from the JLI Headquarters on the videoscreen.

'He is just protecting his home,' said the Blue one. 'You need to explain to him that that is what you are about as well.'

'Gotcha,' responded Lord Slime.

The Penguin King, over the next few hours talking with Lord Slime, came to understand that the JLA was only there to protect Antarctica. And then, offering the Penguin King a place on the JLA reserve list, the old dwarf smiled, nodded, and finally found a home – in the most unlikely of places.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 3:

Wrath of the Tomato Man

The Penguin King was sitting in the inner sanctum of the Justice League Antarctica, scratching his head, looking at the move Lord Slime had made in their game of chess. Suddenly a big red splotch – falling from above – landed in the middle of the chess set. The Penguin King looked up and there, on the ceiling, having somehow sneaked into the JLA compound, a funny looking man, dressed in an all red outfit, covered in pictures of tomatoes. And, suddenly, he pointed his hand at the Penguin King and fired out some red stuff – it hit the Penguin King in the face, and he tasted it – Ketchup.

The Penguin King quickly jumped to the control board, pushed the emergency button, and a siren started wailing all throughout the compound.

Big Sir and Lord Slime came a running, and instantly the tomato man jumped down and started firing ketchup at them.

'Gah,' said Lord Slime, suddenly covered in Ketchup. 'I know I like hot dogs and sauce, but this is ridiculous.'

The Tomato man continued firing ketchup at them, while Lord Slime ducked out of the way, Big Sir soon covered in red. Big Sir put his finger on his shirt, licked the ketchup and said 'It's yummy.'

'Go crazy on it,' said Lord Slime to Big Sir, ducking out of the way of the Tomato Lord's shots. Meanwhile Penguin King had recovered and put on his outfit, and started firing tranquilizer darts from his flippers, but kept on missing.

'What do you want?' Lord Slime yelled at the Tomato Man.

'Burgers,' responded the Tomato Man. 'I have heard you have a year's supply of meat.'

Lord Slime looked perplexed. 'You trekked all the way to Antarctica to eat our burgers? Can't you get them at home?'

'I needed a holiday,' responded the Tomato man sarcastically. 'Now hand over the burgers, or else.'

'Or else what?' responded Lord Slime.

'This,' said the Tomato man, and suddenly he pointed both arms and a huge spray of ketchup flung out, all over Lord Slime, causing him to slip on the floor. Big Sir just laughed and laughed.

4 hours later, the Tomato Man polishing off his 7th burger with Ketchup, he burped and thanked Lord Slime who had a baker's hat on his head. Big Sir had eaten about 12 of the burgers, but the Penguin King said he wasn't hungry.

'So. Do you need somewere to stay?' asked Lord Slime. 'We could always use a new member with your talents.'

Tomato man looked at him, smiled, and munched on his burger.

And thus the ranks of the Justice League Antarctica grew yet again, with the most voracious of colourful members.

Bwah ha ha har

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 4:

Lady Chocolate joins the team

Lord Slime wandered down to the food reserves basement. He was after a snack. He looked everywhere, but it was all missing – all the lovely Cadbury's chocolate they had ordered – a years supply. Just then he heard some whimpering coming from the corner of the room and, coming around a bend, a young maiden, could be no older than 16 or 17, crying.

'Oh, deary me,' said Lord Slime. 'What have we here? How did you get in here young lady? And where are you from?'

'My parent's. There dead,' she responded. 'We were on holiday in Antarctica, seeing the penguins and the ice, when a spaceship appeared in front of us and blasted our ship. I swam to shore and had given up my life. But I walked for a while along the shore, and saw your building in the distance. I crawled in through that window,' she said, pointing to an open window. Lord Slime went over, closed the window, and looked at his young steward. All around her was the missing chocolate – all eaten.

'How long have you been down here, then?'

'3 days,' she responded.

Right,' he thought to himself. So she has eaten the chocolate.

'Well, come on. We will go upstairs and find you a way back home.'

Gently he brought her up the walkway, into the inner sanctum, and was about to contact JLI headquarters when the alarm came on. Big Sir, the Penguin King and the Tomato Lord rushed in, noticed the girl, but stared at the screen. Suddenly a spaceship appeared, heading towards them.

'That's the ship which killed my parents,' yelled the young maiden.

'Oh, bother,' responded Lord Slime.

Shortly they were under attack, and Lord Slime and the Penguin King manned the defence station and started shooting laser bolts at the spaceship. They got lucky, they hit well, and shortly there was a huge crash just in front of the compound.

'Let's go look,' said Lord Slime. 'And grab some weapons.'

The maiden also came out with them, and there, in front of the headquarters, the crashed ship with an alien crawling out – a green man, with strange clothing, and a gun of some kind.

Lord Slime and the others stood back, but the alien fell on its knees, then fell down to the ground. It had been wounded, quite apparently.

The Maiden rushed forward and started swearing at the alien who, suddenly, reached out and grabbed her and then sparks started flying all around them both, and he fell down and so did she.

Lord Slime and the Penguin King rushed over and checked them both.

'The Maiden is ok,' said the Penguin King. 'She is just unconscious.'

'The alien looks dead, though' responded Lord Slime. 'We will have to notify JLI headquarters, but we will have to probably bury the thing and dump the ship out back. Big Sir – get the mover and take care of that for us. And be careful.'

Big Sir saluted him and went off to his task.

Lord Slime came over to the maiden who was starting to glow brown – and suddenly she came upright – smiled at them – and, pointing her hands upwards said 'Abra Ka Zam' and little pieces of chocolate started flying from her hands upwards.

'First tomatoes, now bloody chocolate,' said Lord Slime.

'At least we won't run out of either,' said the Penguin King, looking on the bright side of life.

Officially, Lady Chocolate was inducted into the Justice League Antarctica roll call when, having learned all they could, and finding no next of kin to look after her, she claimed she was old enough to make it on her own, now, and when Lord Slime said she could join them if she wanted to, and promised her a decent wage, not knowing what else to do about her new found powers, she said 'Well, I may as well be a Superhero.'

And thus the ranks of the Justice League Antarctica grew to their 5th member, but the next one would be the strangest indeed.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 5:

Power of the Quantum Queen

Lee Kim looked at the spinning vortex of light. Radiant colours of the Rainbow were everywhere over the room – spinning madly – elegantly – beautifully. She had on her costume – all white, with a gold belt with 'Quantum Queen' written on the belt – a superhero indeed. She was ready, it was now or never.

She stepped into the machine, strapped on her belts, hit her remote to close the glass doors, and pressed the 'engage' button. The lights started spinning, rapidly, happily, madly, wildly. And then the light vortex machine focused on her, poured forth a ray of beautiful, glorious light, and she was overcome.

When she awoke she knew her name, but for the life of her couldn't figure out where she was, what she did in life, who she was as a person. She was in a strange looking room, which was closed. Carefully she unstrapped herself from the machine she found herself in, tried the glass door, but it was locked and looked unbreakable. 'Were the hell am I, she thought to herself. She hit her hand softly against the glass and said out loud, 'God, I wish I was anywhere but here. Even Antarctica would be better than being stuck in this strange place.' And, as her hand crashed into the glass with a fist she had made of utter frustration, suddenly a trillion brand new quantum synapses in her brain worked overtime, consulted everything her mind new of geography, and launched her into the Quantum Stream.

Big Sir was out the front of the Justice League Antarctica Headquarters on a sunny summer day, which was not exactly saying much for Antarctica, but the team were engaged in a game of cricket which Lord Slime was fond of. Suddenly, flashing right in the centre of the pitch, a ball of silvery light exploded in front of them, and a lady appeared hovering in the air for a few short moments, before the lights diminished and she fell to the ground.

'Where am I?' she asked Lord Slime as she started to recover.

'Antarctica,' he responded.

'Go figure,' she replied sarcastically.

'So the pay is good, there is never that much to do apart from monitor the screen and give a weekly report to Blue Beetle in JLI headquarters, and your regular thing. We do a lot of fun stuff, though, to pass the time. And strange things seem to have a funny habit of occurring around here.'

Quantum Queen considered the offer from Lord Slime. They had started calling her that, noting the sign on her belt, and with no memories of where she had come from, or where she was supposed to go, Lee Kim, the powerful Quantum Queen, became the next honoured member of the Justice League Antarctica. But a feisty femme fatale would soon be the culminating member of an unforgettable team of adventure.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 6:

Tiger-Klaw Joins the Team

'Yo, buddy. What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?'

The ancient catholic priest looked at the young fellow, could be no older than 35 or so, nothing compared to his years of 112. 'I do not know my son. What DO you call a nun who sleepwalks?'

'A Roaming Catholic,' responded the man.

Despite himself, and having no sense of humour whatsoever, Father Brown smiled, and nodded to the fellow.

The man looked at the crate which the priest seemed to be guarding, with funny sounds coming from it.

'What you got in there? A wild animal or something?'

'You could say that,' responded Father Brown.

'Right,' he nodded.

The man looked around. 'Freezing, aint it,' he said, clutching his arms. 'Bloody cold.'

'I expect that for this southern region,' responded the priest.

'Yeh,' responded the man. 'Lets hope, though, we don't hit a bloody iceberg or something. Or we'll be swimming home.'

The priest smiled. 'Yes. Let's hope,' he replied.

Irony is interesting in life, for around 11 pm that evening, despite the weather being perfectly clear and calm, Jose Rivera, nodding off to sleep at the wheel, was wakened by a huge crashing sound as his beautiful beast – the Wild Shark – did in fact crash into an iceberg, the crash horrific, sending stock onboard overboard.

Later, the priest, thankfully, lowered to one of the ships little escape boats, with the other dozen members of the boat, watched in vain as the Wild Shark sank and, his most precious cargo, gone to the depths of the ocean floor. Or so he believed.

Lord Slime, the Tomato Man, and the rest of the crew, were on the shores of Antarctica, just down from the JLA headquarters, having a barbecue.

'More burgers?' Lord Slime asked Tomato Man.

'You betcha,' responded the red wonder, instantly adding his very own ketchup from his hands, into the burger, digging in for his meal.

Lady chocolate, now somewhat content at finding a new home, was chatting with Quantum Queen, the two having become fast friends, about their new home and work.

While Big Sir was still trying to understand the intricacies of chess which the Penguin King was frustratingly trying to teach him – but that was inevitably a losing battle.

They were all happy, the penguins gathered around waiting for the occasional piece of meat which Lord Slime threw at them, when they noticed the box hitting the shores, grunting sounds being made from it.

Lord Slime looked at his team, they all shrugged, and coming down, he asked Big Sir to open the box, which he did and, shortly, emerging from it, tentatively, a strange looking girl, with wild hair, and pointed ears, covered in striped fur, looking like a human tiger. She growled at them, suddenly spied the burgers, and bounded over to the picnic table, sat down, picked up one of the just made burgers, and happily started munching away.

'So do we offer her the standard package?' Lord Slime asked the group, to which they all nodded in agreement.

And thus the full roll call of the Justice League Antarctica had come to be with the addition of the wild 'Tiger-Klaw'. But what lies in store, next, for our fabulous heroes of, albeit frozen, glory?

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 7:

Their First Adventure

Ted Kord – the Fabulous Blue Beetle – was down in one of the sub-basements of the Justice League Antarctica, of which there were quite a few, with the Penguin King, in one of the tech workshops.

'How many of these sub-basements are there anyway?' the Penguin King asked Blue Beetle.

'Don't ask,' he responded. 'But between you and me, the place is built on an alien battle station they had built for a war against humanity a few years back. We haven't explored EVERYTHING down there, but suffice to say it goes down a fair way.'

'Jeepers,' responded the Penguin King.

'Well, what do you think of her?' queried the great inventor to the Penguin King. Is she up to specifications?'

Before them was, like Blue Beetle's own fabulous Bug, a flying machine which got the JLI around from time to time, was a similar craft, this one instead modelled on a penguin.

'I'll call her Pengu,' responded the Penguin King.

'Good enough,' said Ted Kord, and went 'Bwah har ha. The fabulous Pengu!'

A little later on, Blue Beetle up to date with all the new members, having surveyed the headquarters and noting everything was up to scratch, disappeared in the Bug, leaving the Justice League Antarctica ready for their new roles of protectors of the southern-most continent.

This time it was 3 flashes – all of the main screens of the control panel came alive, and Big Sir who was on duty yelled for the team to come a running.

Shortly Lord Slime, Penguin King, Quantum Queen, Tiger-Klaw, Tomato Man and Lady Chocolate all appeared, and together with Big Sir they looked nervously at the screen.

There, in front of them, hovering over the waters just off of Antarctica, a fleet of alien battle ships, lurking suspiciously. As they watched the ships started moving landwards to Antarctica, landed and aliens soon appeared, busily at work.

'We have an invasion,' said Lord Slime.

'What do we do?' asked Tomato man.

Lord Slime looked at him – what DID you do when aliens invaded earth.

'We get in Pengu and go and confront them,' responded Lord Slime.

'Gotcha,' responded Tomato Man.

They descended down into the sub-basement, boarded Pengu, and as the Penguin King took the controls, rose up through a shaft, through an opening panel, and took to the skies. They were ready – their first mission.

'But why on earth would the Dominion want us to store expensive Thurgian Gold on Earth? It is a pretty crappy place to hide all our earnings.'

'Don't ask me,' responded Captain Janek to his crew member. 'But that is where they want it hidden. So start digging. I don't think any earth power has detected us with their technology, so we should be fine.'

And as Captain Janek watched, his team of 7 labourers from 3 ships started the hard work of digging down through the ice into the solid rock below, to build cavities in the earth to store their gold and a whole host of other dominion treasures.

Just then, Pengu appeared in the skies above them, Captain Janek swore, and the aliens took up their weapons and started firing at the ship.

'Bugger,' said the Penguin King. 'They're firing at us.

'I can see that,' responded Lord Slime. He looked at his team – time to choose. 'Right, Lady Chocolate – we all know just how much chocolate you can spit out. So man one of the side chambers of the ship and we will get in close and you cover them with chocolate. I don't think we want a war with them just yet.' He looked at Tomato man, shrugged to himself, and said 'You may as well join her, Tomato. Cover them – keep them distracted. I will take a flight suit down with Big Sir and Quantum Queen and Tiger-Klaw, and we will see just what they want.'

And so Pengu came around, lowered down near the surface, and as the blasts from the weapon continued slamming into the force shields of the ships, Lady Chocolate and Tomato Man were at the side chamber, locked in tight, windows open, ready to fire.

'Now!' yelled the Penguin King, and the two heroes let loose with their powers.

It was a commotion amongst the aliens. Being covered with chocolate is, while always something for a laugh, not that pleasant when covered with ketchup also. Shortly they stopped bothering shooting at the Penguin ship – I mean, why bother. They were hardly aggressors. And Captain Janek ordered the team aboard the command ship.

Pengu watched them, ready to respond to any military attack, when Captain Janek suddenly appeared coming out of the ship, a white flag being raised by himself, shaking it.

'They want a truce,' suggested Quantum Queen.

'I guess so,' responded Lord Slime. 'We'll go down, now. See what they want. Just me, Big Sir and Quantum Queen. The rest stay here, ready, just in case.'

The team left Pengu in their suits, came over to the alien, and Lord Slime, turning on his universal communication device said 'Uh, welcome to earth. What the hell do you guys want here?'

Captain Janek surveyed him. He didn't seem a threat – best to deal with them as simply as possible.

'Ah, we are just sight-seeing. On holiday,' responded Captain Janek.

'Right,' responded Lord Slime. He looked at all the machinery, and the digging they were doing.

'What's with all the digging?' he asked the alien.

'Uh, mmm.' Captain Janek thought fast. 'Samples,' he responded. 'We are just digging for samples. Yes, that's it. We are on a universal scientific exploration and soil collection mission. We just need some earth dirt.'

Lord Slime nodded. 'Fair enough. Uh, well I'll be right back.'

Captain Janek smiled as Lord Slime walked back to Pengu, leaving Big Sir and Quantum Queen standing there bemused.

'They want WHAT?' said Blue Beetle incredulously.

'Soil. They are scientists, collecting the stuff.

Booster Gold suddenly walked past on the screen, smiled and waved to Lord Slime and said 'They'll need to fill out a permit. Get them to fill out a permit.'

'A permit?' asked Lord Slime bemused.

'Uh, yeh,' responded Blue Beetle. 'Get them to fill out a permit. And don't forget to charge them. And tell them to have a nice day.'

'Right,' said Lord Slime, doubting. 'A permit,' he said to himself. 'A permit.'

'Right,' said Lord Slime, handing Captain Janek a receipt and the permit slip they had found on the JLI database, for the bar of gold Captain Janek had handed over. 'And, have a nice day. Earth always welcomes our galactic guests.'

Captain Janek nodded, waved to his team, and as the aliens got back to work with their digging, Lord Slime walked away unbelieving.

'A freaking permit,' he said all the way back on their journey home. 'Give them a freaking permit.'

And Tomato man, digging into a burger he had stored in the fridge nodded, while the other team smiled away at Lord Slime, happy enough the situation had been resolved.

'I guess that is a day in the life of the Justice League Antarctica,' Lord Slime thought to himself, as Pengu neared home, ready for descent.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 8:

S.O.S.

'Were the heck are we, Scotty?'

Scott Saunders looked outside the chopper window. 'Can't tell. The storm is still to fierce.'

'Wherever we are, we must be way off course. It's freezing in here now.'

'Turn up the heating, Sam.'

'It's on maximum, Scott.'

'Far out.'

The chopper continued flying in the hazy weather but soon, their fuel just about gone, they came down, slowly, found the white ice, and landed the chopper.

'Ice everywhere?' said Sam. 'We must be in the Andes somewhere.'

'I think we are further south than that. We were flying for hours in that storm.'

Sam nodded at Scott's words. 'Then we might be in Antarctica. The old bird has long legs in her still – we could have flown that far off course, I guess.'

'Right,' agreed Scott. 'Well, we're stuffed. The Radio is out – all that we have is the homing beacon. We'll have to use that and pray to God someone nearby rescues us. Or this is it,' said Scott Saunders.

It was 68 days later, and Sam had seemed to pass on from hunger. Scott, though, had a bit of belly before coming on the trip, and while he had as much ice water as he could stomach, his belly had shrunk enormously now from lack of food. They weren't coming, he knew it now. He was a goner. The final days of Scott Saunders. May he rest in peace.

Big Sir, coming over the hill with the team, spotted what they were after. They had finally noticed a flashing light on the control panel, a tiny one, for a particular rare type of South American emergency homing beacons. So, going out on the ski machines, they traced the beacon and, now, they had found their prey – a helicopter covered with ice.

Lord Slime closed in and they scrubbed at the window of the chopper to see the two figures inside. He tried opening the door, but it was frozen solid. 'Big Sir. Can you open it?'

Big Sir, the monolith of a man, flexed his huge muscles, grabbed the door of the chopper and, breaking it open, threw the door to the ground. Lord Slime checked the men – one was dead, but the other seemed alive – just.

'We need to get them back to the compound. Careful, team. One is dead, but the other is still breathing, just.'

'Tiger-Klaw' picked up the dead man, put him over her shoulder, and made it back to her buggy. The other man was carefully cradled and brought inside the buggy belonging to Quantum Queen and Penguin King. The Queen quickly attended to him, putting in a saline drip, and covering him with warm towels. 'He should make it,' she yelled. 'Get us home,' and Penguin King took off.

5 days later Scott could speak a little. He was feeling a little better, albeit still exhausted and numb all over, but better. The body of his friend, Sam, was down below, in a metal coffin which the team had a supply of, ready to ship back to wherever they had come from. Scott shared with them that they were a team of photographers working for National Geographic amongst other nature magazines, freelance workers, and that they had been blown off course by a severe and unexpected storm.

'I'm sorry we couldn't save your friend,' said Lord Slime.

'You did your best,' responded Scott.

Scott's camera equipment was recovered and, before he was shipped back to the States in Pengu, he took a load of photos of the brave JLA team. It was fun and all but, a few months later, when the latest issue of 'Wild Nature' was delivered to them, there they were on the cover, the now famous 'Justice League Antarctica.'

'We're heroes,' said Big Sir.

'Well what do you know,' responded Lord Slime.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 9:

Raining Cats and Dogs

ZingZongZoom pressed the button on his animal transmogrification device, looking at all the millions of gorillas, monkeys, apes, and other anthropoids he had collected and been breeding for the last decade. With luck, they would be human shortly – with luck.

But ZingZongZoom, whose hidden headquarters, was in the heart of Antarctica, away from prying eyes, slipped suddenly, his arm nudging one of the key switches and, instead of humans being the subject for the creatures to transmogrify to, it was suddenly altered to dogs and cats.

'Oh, flubbergust,' he said, and watched as the millions of holding chambers came alive and, as the transmogrification rays started having their effect, the creatures were quickly transmogrified into – you guessed it – a whole host of dogs and cats.

'Bugger,' said ZingZongZoom to himself, knowing that the process was irreversible. 'Now how am I going to feed this host?'

Big Sir was stationed at the control panel, the first to be alerted to the alarm. As the screen zeroed in, Big Sir spied a pussy cat near their JLA headquarters. And then, suddenly, not one, but two and then three and then four and then, thousands. And dogs too.

'Guys, we have trouble,' yelled out Big Sir, as the team came running.

'Rrow,' said Tiger-Klaw. 'Family.'

Lord Slime looked at the screen – thousands - if not tens of thousands of dogs and cats. 'Now where the heck have they come from?' he asked the team.

Later that day, surrounded by about one million dogs and cats, they had just inspected a few of them. 'They have been transmogrified,' said Penguin King confidently. 'They were probably apes of some kind beforehand.'

'But where have they come from?' asked Lord Slime. The Penguin King just shrugged.

'Do we have any other residents of Antarctica nearby?' Quantum Queen asked.

'There are some research stations,' said Lord Slime. 'There is rumour, though, that a wacky professor is down here, nearby somewhere. Blue Beetle mentioned him.

'Then we ask him,' said Quantum Queen.

'Gotcha,' replied Lord Slime.

Well, the team were lucky. They found the professors hideout, dropped in uninvited, and found the millions of chambers. 'This is obviously were he transmogrified them,' said Lord Slime.

'What next?' asked Tomato Man.

'We find him. He must be here somewhere. And there will be some explaining to do.'

They found ZingZongZoom a little while later, with some prying into various chambers around the complex, and Lord Slime gave him this ultimatum.

'Either turn them back to apes and set them free, or you have a lot of pet food to provide us with.'

ZingZongZoom got out his cheque book, wrote a cheque for Ten Million Dollars and said 'Is that enough for the pet food?'

'Jeepers,' said Penguin King, and Tiger-Klaw, cuddling a kitty, smiled.

Later that afternoon, the US Navy promising to send a portion of their fleet to transport the cats and dogs back to US soil and to find them homes, Lord Slime was relieved. Yet not as much as Tiger-Klaw who, now, had a few feline friends making their new home the JLA headquarters.

'Raining cats and dogs indeed,' said Lord Slime, and Tiger-Klaw just continued purring.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 10:

Tomato Man goes Berserk

It was a quiet day in Justice League Antarctica headquarters. It was Lord Slimes turn on the control panel roster, and he was sitting there, staring at the screen, hoping something would come up. Quantum Queen, Tiger-Klaw and Lady Chocolate were in the ladies dormitory, chatting away about life, and boys and boots – well at least Quantum Queen and Lady Chocolate were – Tiger-Klaw was mostly purring contentedly. Big Sir was in the kitchen, eating Ice Cream with lots of chocolate syrup and Penguin King was down in one of the sub-basements, tinkering away at their flying craft 'Pengu', happily off in his own little world.

Everything seemed happy – everything seemed right – in the world of the Justice League Antarctica, except for one particular member.

Lord Slime was bored, almost fancied videophoning Blue Beetle just to pass the time, when he suddenly heard a familiar spraying sound and Tomato Men yelling out. Lord Slime turned and there was Tomato Man, emerging from the men's dormitory, spraying his tomato stuff absolutely everywhere.

Lord Slime sprang to action, rushed over, and yelled 'Turn it off. You'll have the place flooded.'

'I bloody can't!' yelled Tomato man in response. 'It won't stop! Help!'

Lord Slime hit his emergency beacon on his chest to summon the rest of the team and, soon enough, a very confused Justice League Antarctica was watching a helpless Tomato Man spraying his ketchup all over the entire JLA control room.

'It must be his hormones playing up,' suggested Penguin King.

'Or he must have been looking at some pictures of ripe tomatoes, the naughty boy,' suggested Quantum Queen, which got a snigger from most of the JLA.

'What do we do?' asked Lady Chocolate.

'Wait him out,' responded Lord Slime. 'He must run out of the stuff eventually.'

Well, they waited and waited and waited and waited, and seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to hours. The team mostly got back to their own thing, with Big Sir monitoring the situation when, finally, around tea time that evening, Tomato Man started slowing down, bit by bit, until, finally, the ketchup stopped spraying.

The team assembled and looked at all the mess.

Penguin King spoke up. 'I hope you're not going to ask me to clean up all that mess. It will take forever.'

Lord Slime kicked the mop and bucket in Penguin King's direction and said 'Well somebody has to do it. Besides, it's your turn on the roster.'

'Grumble, grumble, flubbing roster, grumble, grumble,' moaned Penguin King.

'Don't worry,' said Quantum Queen, in a charitable mood. 'I'll help you out Pengy.'

In the emergency ward Lady Chocolate had been examining Tomato Man who seemed utterly exhausted. His day long effort had taken it all out of him.

'It was probably just a reaction to something,' she said, patting Tomato Man on the head. No telling when it could happen again, though.'

Lord Slime nodded thoughtfully. 'Well, you're out of action for a while, Tomato Head. You get your rest, and get better.' Tomato Man valiantly smiled, and dutifully fell asleep.

Coming back into the main chamber, Lord Slime looked at all the ketchup which the team was currently mopping up. 'At least we won't run out of sauce any time soon,' he sarcastically thought to himself, as he returned to his control panel duties.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 11:

Legs 11

Lord Slime was running the Bingo for a very, very, very bored Justice League Antarctica. 'There is nothing to do,' moaned Lady Chocolate all week. 'We take our turn sitting at the control panel to watch a blank screen. 'I'm bored.'

'How about a game of Bingo,' suggested Lord Slime, and they all, so completely bored that even Bingo sounded positively joyful in comparison, nodded agreement.

'44 at your door,' said Lord Slime.

'Who's at my door?' asked Big Sir.

'36 pick up sticks,' said Lord Slime.

'Gotta love those sticks,' said Tomato Man.

'27 Time for heaven,' said Lord Slime.

'Much more preferable to this dump I would imagine,' suggested Lady Chocolate.

'33 time to pee,' said Lord Slime.

'I think I need the toilet,' said Big Sir, to a nervous looking Penguin King sitting next to him.

'Legs 11,' said Lord Slime, and suddenly all 6 other Justice League Antarcticers yelled 'Bingo.'

'Good grief,' said Lord Slime. 'I'll have to check your cards.'

Lady Chocolate and Tomato man were both lying. Extreme boredom was their excuse.

Big Sir had crossed out every number on the card anyway.

Penguin King and Tiger-Klaw had both missed a number each and inadvertently yelled Bingo mistakenly, which left Quantum Queen.

However, Lord Slime, on careful investigation of the card, was quite sure Quantum Queen, with her powers, had altered the molecular state of the card, and declared the Bingo null and void to everyone's disappointment.

'I'm bored,' said Quantum Queen a few hours later.

'How about Monopoly?' suggested Lord Slime.

'Good grief,' replied the Queen of the Quantum Stream.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 12:

From Bad to Worse

It was a cold Sunday morning; Tomato Man was outside, all rugged up, sitting on one of the chairs he had placed outside to gaze out at the nothing from time to time, simply to escape the regular humdrum of it all.

He heard a noise, a buzzing noise and, shortly spied one of the semi-regular flights which a local research station relied on for transporting in and out of the station. He thought nothing of it until he noticed, falling from the sky, from the vicinity of were the plane had just been, a blip of white cloudy looking stuff, falling down to earth.

'They must have had a bunch of ice which just dislodged,' he thought to himself, and didn't give it a second thought.

Yet, as he sat there, over a few hundred yards away were the ice landed, there seemed to be a splodge of white which – as bizarre as it sounds – was growing. Thinking he may as well go and check it out he stood, shook his cold hands, and started on the short trek.

As he neared things looked weird – it was snow – but it was growing snow. Growing constantly. He couldn't see any other object around it or in it, but just a pile of snow which was constantly growing. 'Weird,' he thought to himself. 'This could be bad. I had better inform the team.'

He returned to the JLA headquarters, came inside, pushed the beacon button and, shortly, the Justice League Antarctica assembled in the control room.

'What's the story?' Lord Slime asked Tomato man.

'You had better come and look,' said Tomato Man. Its outside. It looks bad.'

As they emerged from the JLA headquarters, Tomato Man was about to point, but suddenly realized he really didn't need to – not now. The bunch of ice had grown from a few meters in height, now, to about a kilometre, and it had bulged out as well. 'Oh, this is much worse now,' said Tomato Man. 'Much worse.'

'Jeepers,' said Penguin King.

'We're in trouble,' said Big Sir.

Lord Slime kept cool. He turned to Quantum Queen. 'Do you think you can handle this?'

She nodded. Pointing her arm, thinking her thoughts and saying 'Lightstream', suddenly, emanating from her outstretched arms, a bolt of light ray.

She focused it on the monolith and a struggle began. It kept on growing for a while but, as she increased the intensity of her ray, she started matching its growth and, soon, it began shrinking.

It took a while, but 20 minutes later, they were inspecting the heart of were it had grown from, and everything was watery, but there was no more growth.

Tomato man spoke up. 'Something fell from the research plane. The one the local folk use.'

'Right,' said Lord Slime. 'Maybe some molecular experiments with ice expansion. Something like that. A sample they may have used.'

'Sounds interesting,' said Penguin King. 'But how would you know.'

'I have chatted with them about their work. They mentioned similar ideas. We'll have to have a chat with them and let them know to be more careful in the future.'

4 days later Lord Slime indeed confirmed that the research station had been experimenting with rapid ice expansion. The stuff must have gotten attached to the feet of one of the researchers, and fallen from the plane, expanding quickly as it fell, so they said to him. They promised they would be a lot more careful in the future, assuring Lord Slime it would be a one of. They were just lucky that Quantum Queen had been on hand, otherwise Antarctica could be a looming monolith of expanded ice right now.

Penguin King wanted to go off and look at the research, as he was a student of science, so Lord Slime arranged for Pengy to be the JLA representative on site for security concerns – they felt that was now justified, which was not objected to by the scientists.

'At least we won't run out of ice,' said Tomato Man to Lord Slime later that week.

'I am getting used to having an oversupply of stuff like that,' responded Lord Slime, and the two of them laughed for a while at the irony of the situation.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 13:

Blue Beetle's New Address

'I've been wondering,' said Blue Beetle. 'If he is an Anti-Hero, then perhaps he is opposed to heroes?'

'Outstanding logic Ted,' replied Black Canary, monitoring the JLI Control station.

'I mean, Lord Slime. Classic Anti-Hero in all traits. Yet he comes through in the end as a good guy. Perhaps its a cunning plan.'

'To rule the world, huh,' suggested Booster Gold.

Ted turned to him. 'From Antarctica?'

Deep in Antarctic. Or, at the coastline, actually...

'Right, Big Sir. Move the crane forward just a little.' Big sir faithfully responded to Lord Slime's request, and moved the large machine into place, lowered it and, as it connected to its powerbase, Lord Slime smiled.

'Are you sure this is a good idea?' asked the Penguin King.'

'Look. We've been stuck here with no action for 3 years now. So when I say 'We take over the world, we take over the world. Kapiche.'

'Whatever,' responded the Penguin King, looking anxiously at the now spinning machine.

The rest of the Justice League Antarctica watched on as Lord Slime hit a button on the control panel, and the dome overhead gradually opened up.

'Is it ready?' asked Tomato Man.

Lord Slime hit a button. Suddenly a jolt of blue laser stuff surged upwards at an incredible pace. It shot right up, hit the moon far above, which suddenly froze in orbit.'

'They'll never trace the source,' said Lord Slime. 'Its special slime. Top Secret stuff.'

'You Hope,' said Penguin King.

'Now we wait,' said Lord Slime.

half a day later the world was in turmoil. The moon had frozen in its orbits, and the oceans were not working properly. The UN contacted JLI Headquarters, and the Team Assembled.

'What do we do?' asked Black Canary to Martian Manhunter.

'Commies,' said Guy. 'New tactics to retake russia and the world.

'Darkseid, I would say,' said Mr Miracle.

'Maxwell Lord,' suggested Ted. 'He's still in hiding out west, and still holds a grudge.'

'Max has changed since coming back, Ted,' said the Manhunter. 'Like you. Resurrection Man's final act of grace in his final life poured humility into you all.'

Booster smiled. 'Ted used his up last week.'

'Hey, forming the Blue Beetle Corps is not easy. I could have been really proud when the 3 of us got together and united.'

'Daniel Garrett, Ted Kord and Jamie Reyes. The Blue Beetle Corps. Unbelievable,' said Booster.

'As original as Hal Jordan's underwear,' said Guy.

'At least he changes his, Guy,' said Canary. 'Poooh. I think you need a shower too.'

'We have a new member as well. When the three of us got together the Scarab separated into 7 parts, and two of them entered me and Daniel. 4 disappeared, but a chick showed up in San Jose the other day.'

'Who?' asked Black Canary, fascinated.

'Actually, quite a famous person. Weird, but it must be the wisdom of the Scarab. The actress. Sandra. Sandra Bullock. She was sensational as well. Dressed like Dove for the most part. Saying she had a mission in her head, and that the Scarab was starting to fulfill its new purpose.'

'Which is?' queried Guy suspiciously.

'It's conneccted to the Guardians,' said Ted. 'And Oa. And the Darkstars are involved as well.'

'Fascinating,' said Martian. 'Anyway, we have an agenda people.'

Oberon appeared. 'They've made demands at last. 5 billion US dollars, and a years supply of White Chocolate oreos.'

They all looked at Oberon.

'Hey,' said Guy. 'Doesn't Lord Slime like those bikkies?'

4 hours later, Lord Slime having been delivered to Belle Reeve prison for psyhiatric analysis, the claim that it was 'Just a bit of fun,' was not going down well with Jonn.

'He's still a punk' said Batman. 'But he's no real threat. I sensed no real anger or malevolence in him.'

'He needs reforming,' said Superman.

'And you need to appoint a new guarding for Antarctica.'

Eyes turned to Ted Kord.

'Your still unofficial, Ted,' said Superman.

'Have fun, buddy,' said Booster Gold.

'Send us a postcard,' said Guy.

'We'll miss you,' said Ice.

Blue Beetle was not impressed. He would remember to reserve his Antihero questions for another time.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 14:

Lazy Days

'A Beetle - is wise,' said Blue Beetle dramatically, sitting at the control deck of Justice League Antarctica HQ.

Tomato man was liberally applying ketchup to a hot dog, and turned to the Uncaped Blue Wonder.

'You don't even have a cape? How wise can you be? Even Booster Gold has a cape.'

'Capes! Daniel Garrett would turn in his grave if I had a cape.'

'Wasn't he resurrected?' asked Tomato man.

'Exactly,' said Ted. 'Now as I was saying, Beetles are wise. Take the Dung Beetle for example.'

'Yeh, it collects a lot of crap,' smirked Tomato man.

'Exactly. And when you have a skyscraper full of crap, like Kord Industries has overflowing, you will see how wise and prudent beetles are.'

Penguin King spoke up. 'Penguin's are wiser.'

Beetle turned to him. 'How so?'

'We take a lot of crap,' said the midget. 'Oberon time and time again tells me his tales. You know once, Big Barda came in...'

Yet Blue drifted off in his thoughts, mostly unconcerned about the general waffle of the Penguin King.

'Lord Slime collects a lot of crap,' said Quantum Queen, engaged in a game of chess with Lady Chocolate.

'He eats a lot of crap too,' said Tomato man,' hooking into his 7th hot dog for the day.

'Look who's talking,' replied Quantum Queen.

'Hah. That's rich. The queen of sushi. We import so much of the stuff, I wonder how the budget can afford it. We aren't made of money, you know.'

'Tell that to Big Sir. I mean, you may devour a dozen hot dogs a day, but he eats, like 50 frozen pizzas every evening. And I am not sure if he even cooks them.'

'He's a big lad,' said Blue Beetle. 'Needs a lot of crap.'

'So I guess that makes Big Sir the wisest of the Justice League Antarctica,' said Lady Chocolate.

Silence. Mild sniggers from various and sundry.

'Yep,' said Ted. 'But, like I was saying. Beetles are wise.'

Just then Big Sir came in. Guilty faces looked at him.

'No More pizza,' said Big Sir. 'What do I eat?'

'Perhaps he could try some Hot Dogs,' said Quantum Queen.

'Or Sushi,' replied Tomato Man.

'Don't touch my bloody chocolate,' said Lady Chocolate.

Blue Beetle sighed, and looked at Penuguin King who was still rambling on about Big Barda and an encounter with Darkseid.

'Try Lord Slime's Oreos,' said Beetle. 'He won't be with us for a while.'

And Big Sir smiled, and went off in hunt of his dinner.

And another day passed in the life of the Justice League International, Antarctican Division.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 15:

Ktrogarrx Strikes Back

'He's Ktrrogarrx. The Thing from Beyond,' said Blue Beetle.

'He looks nasty,' said Penguin King.

'Fortunately Guy Gardner is not here,' said Blue Beetle.

'Huh?' queried Penguin King.

'They have history. Mmm. This could be tough. He looks as if he is digging a hole.'

'Maybe something is buried there.'

'In Antarctice?' queried Blue Beetle.

'Stranger things have happened,' responded the Penguin King.

The Thing from Beyond continued digging and soon, reaching down, brought up a large metal chest.

'Treasure,' said Penguin King.

The Thing from Beyond opened the chest, took out an amulet and bellowed 'AT LAST! VENGEANCE IS MINE! HA HA HA HARR HARR HARR HA HA HARRRGGGH. HA.'

'This could be trouble,' said Penguin King.

'League Assemble,' said Blue Beetle over the intercom. He turned to the Penguin King. 'I've always wanted to say that.'

As the Bug hovered skywards from the Thing From Beyond, they watched nervously from their secure position.

'He's melting the ice,' said Tomato Man. 'And very quickly.'

'The amulet around his neck is glowing brightly,' said Lady Chocolate. 'It must be the source of the power.'

'What do we do?' asked Penguin King.

'We see what he wants,' said Blue Beetle.

As they descended on hover boards, they approached the Thing from behind.

'Looks tiring,' said Blue Beetle.

Ktrrogarrx turned and snarled. 'A LEAGUER! WONDERFUL! VENGEANCE!'And he pointed his arms at the group, and a bolt of energy burst towards them, the group just managing to avoid it, but Quantum Queen's board was hit, and she tumbled down to the ice.

Blue Beetle thought quickly.

'Tomato Man. Ketchup at his feet. Now. Get to work,' and Tomato man swerved away.

'Penguin King. Keep him distracted.

'How?' asked PK anxiously.

'I don't know. Tell him a joke or something.

'Jeepers,' replied the Penguin King.

'Lady Chocolate. I need a big bloody piece of chocolate. Get to work.'

'And do what with it?'

'Just get it done. Huge. Its a big job.'

Ktrrogarrx had returned to melting the ice, amused somewhat by the wisecracking Penguin King, while Tomato Man was pouring endless supplies of Ketchup at his feet.

'Is that chocolate ready?' yelled Blue Beetle.

A huge piece of chocolate was levitating in front of Lady chocolate.

'What do you want me to do with it?' she yelled.

'Big Sir. Take the chocolate.'

'Uh?' responded Big Sir.

'And shove it in the thing's mouth.

Big Sir looked confused but, doing as requested, grabbed the enormous chocolate bar, and ducked up to the mouth of Ktrogarrx and plunged it into his mouth.

Ktrogarrx slowed what he was doing, bit into the chocolate, and then sat down, into the ketchup, eating his enormous chokkie bar.

'Let's hope this works,' said Blue Beetle. He took out his BB gun, set it to Ice Cold Air Blast mode and, the Thing from Beyond, sitting eating a chocolate bar, shot several blasts at the ketchup were Ktrrogarrx was sitting. In no time it had frozen solid.

'Keep telling those jokes,' yelled Blue Beetle to Penguin King.

'Tiger Klaw. You have the quickest reflexes. If Quantum Queen can cut through that amulet, can you grab it?'

'I'll try,' responded Tiger Klaw.

Quantum Queen had rejoined them, and nodded at Blue Beetle's suggestion.

'Try not to annoy him,' he said. Quautum Queen just grinned.

Shortly her light powers had cut through the amulet chain, and Tiger-Klaw snuck in, grabbed it, and hovered back to the group.

'It's not too heavy. Now what?'

'He's too big for us to handle. Big Blue is usually very busy, but Captain Whitebread said to call him in a Jam. He can take the thing to Belle Reeve. Let them handle him,' said Blue Beetle.

Later on, when the Thing from Beyond had been taken away by the Illustrious Captain Marvel, they were all in the control room, having pizza.

'Another day, another dollar,' said the Penguin King.

'Beats making chocolate for a living,' said Lady Chocolate.

'I'm drained. I need another hot dog,' said Tomato Man.

'The endless work of Just us Leaguers,' finished Blue Beetle.

And as they hooked into the pizzas, fries and dogs, another fine evening passed in Antarctica, yet another day in the most infamous Justice League Squad of them all.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 16:

Rainy Days

'It's raining,' said Lady Chocolate.

'It does that in England,' said Black Canary disinterested.

'Oh,' said Lady Chocolate, and came away from the window and sat down next to Black Canary at the 'Hull Justice League England' control panel.

'I'm enjoying these sausages the Beefeater brought around,' said Tomato Man.

'Wonderful,' said Black Canary, and picked up an issue of Vogue. 'Ooh. Posh Spice special,' she said, and was lost in the issue for a while.

'I'm bored,' said Lady Chocolate.

'Nothing ever happens in England,' said the Penguin King. 'We have been on special duties here for one month, and nothing. Not one situation.'

'Nothing since Superman lost his flight power,' said Quantum Queen. 'He's been walking everywhere to fight crime.'

'He's downstairs at the moment with the Martian. They are going through various Kryptonite crystals recovered from their recent voyge to the remnants of Krypton. Looking for a cure for Big Blue,' said Tiger-Klaw.

'Any luck so far?' asked Lady Chocolate.

'Nada,' replied Tiger-Klaw. 'But they found some strange purple Kryptonite which has turned Superman blue. He's quite worried about it as well.'

'No super strength or speed, either,' said Booster Gold. 'We are now on level ground. Metropolis watch out for your new superhero.'

'You've been bragging that forever,' said Black Canary, looking up from her magazine.

'Yep,' interjected Blue Beetle from his chess game with Guy Gardner. 'He's never lived up to much of the claim either.'

'Booster Gold? A hero?' said Guy Gardner. 'Even Gnort is more threatening.'

'Batmite is more threatening,' sniggered Black Canary.

'Be that as it may,' said Booster, not taken back, 'Metropolis is in for some good times at last. Whenever that caped white knight is around and powered up, it's only ever but trouble for Metropolis.'

'As opposed to Booster Gold – rescuer of cats up trees,' sniggered Black Canary.

'Hey, there's a lot of trees in Metropolis,' defended Booster Gold about his recent spate of Cat Rescuing.

'I'm bored,' said Lady Chocolate.

'Nothing ever happens in England,' finished the Penguin King.

Meanwhile, in downtown Hull, a dark hooded figure emerged from a warehouse.

'At last. They shall taste my revenge,' he said, and revealed himself. A man, dressed as a costumed cat. 'At last they shall taste the wrath of the most diabolical pussy of all. CATMAN. Come my pussies,' he said, and pushed a remote control button. The large door to the warehouse started opening, and suddenly half a dozen gigantic pussy cats, with armour, came miaowing out. Catman jumped on the back of one of them. 'Beware my wrath, world!' yelled Catman, and they were away.

'I'm bored,' said Lady Chocolate again.

Suddenly the emergency light started flashing on the control deck.

Blue Beetle hit the Red Button and the JLI satellite focused its cameras in on a situation on the Hull Docks.

'Giant cats,' said Blue Beetle.

'Ravaging everything,' said a concerned Booster Gold.

'All that training,' sniggered Black Canary. 'About to come in useful, huh Booster.' and the room started laughing.

'Shaddup,' said Booster Gold embarassed.

Shortly the team were at the docks,' and the giant cats were threatning everyone, with Catman raising his hands in the air, yelling boastful words of triumph.

Ted landed the Bug, and the team came out, looking at all the chaos.

'They look like tough pussies,' said Guy Gardner. 'Are you sure you can handle them, Booster?'

'Shaddup,' said Booster.

'Little pussies might scratch you,' smiled Black Canary.

Booster just glared at her.

'I guess its up to you,' said Ted to Michael.

'Geeze, wonderful,' said Booster, and approached the costumed super villain as the team watched on.

'Yo, bozo!' yelled Booster at the Catman.

'Ah, the Justice League. Beware the wrath of Catman!' responded the super villain.

'Catman?' said Black Canary bewildered.

'Had to happen eventually,' said Blue Beetle.

'Look, Catman, Hull has strict laws about,' he paused, looking at the giant cats. 'Domestic felines,' he finished.

'Domestic felines?' queried Guy Gardner.

'Aw, they are just a bunch of pussy cats,' said Blue Beetle.

'Little pussies,' said Black Canary.

Booster Gold was stroking his chin, thinking thoughtfully.

'A year's supply of milk. For your pussies,' said Booster. 'We don't want to upset you, Catman. So how about a year's supply of milk. Kord industries can provide.'

'We can?' said Blue Beetle to himself.

'And a million pounds of dried cat food,' continued Booster. 'Kord will be happy to supply you with an ongoing supply.'

'Wonderful,' said Ted.

Catman seemed to be considering those words. 'I need cat litter. Quite a lot of it, actually.'

'Consider it yours,' replied Booster Gold.

Catman jumped down from his giant pussy and came up to Booster Gold. 'I'm Catman. Thanks for the stuff. Come on pussie,' and he whistled, and as he walked off, the giant cats started purring. Following right behind him.'

Later on, back at the control deck.

'Giant Pussy cats?' queried Superman.

'Booster handled them,' said Blue Beetle.

'He's good at handling pussies,' said Black Canary.

'Deals with them all the time,' smiled Guy Gardner.

Superman patted Booster Gold on the back. 'Good work, Booster. Metropolis has favourite animal lover in you.'

'Especially of worried pussy cats,' sniggered Black Canary,' and as the JLI started laughing, all Booster Gold would say was 'Shaddup'.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 17:

Booster to the Rescue

It was another rainy day in Hull. All week, since Catman's debut, it had done nothing but rain. The team were bored.

'I'm bored,' said Lady Chocolate.

'Lord Slime is coming out on probation next week,' said Penguin King.

Lady Chocolate looked at him. 'Boring,' she replied.

'Superman is back to his regular colour. Still no superpowers, but at least he looks normal,' said Tiger-Klaw.

Lady Chocolate looked at her. 'Boring,' she replied again.

'Beefeater and I are entering the national Hot Dog eating championships,' quipped Tomato Man.

Lady Chocolate looked at her with a stare.

'I know. Boring,' replied Tomato Man.

Just then Black Canary, Blue Beetle, Guy Gardner and Booster Gold wandered in, with Fire and Ice following.

'Hey Quantum Queen,' said Ted to Lee Kim. 'I know that Chinese men eat a lot of dog. But do they eat a lot of pussy too?'

'Ted,' that's disgusting, replied Quantum Queen.

'Shaddup,' said Booster Gold, knowing who the joke was subtley directed at.

'Hey, those Russians are pretty tough, aren't they?' said Blue Beetle to Guy Gardner.

'Nah,' responded Guy. 'They are just a bunch of 'PUSSIES'.

'Shaddup,' said Booster Gold again.

'That Catman looks pretty tough, doesn't he,' said Blue Beetle to Black Canary.

'Nah. He's just a big ole pussy cat,' replied Black Canary, sniggering.

'Shaddup,' said Booster, who went over to sit down next to Big Sir.

'Hey, Penguin King. Who was that you said you fancied the other day? In her purple costume?' asked Blu Beetle.

'Oh, Catwoman,' sighed the Penguin King.

Eyes looked at Booster.

'I'll get you back Theodore Kord,' said an annoyed Booster Gold.

'Bwah ha haah,' grinned the Amazing Blue Beetle.

Booster, knowing what was likely coming the rest of the afternoon, stood up and said, 'I think I'll go down to the basement and loo in on Jonn and Superman.

'Be careful,' said BB. 'They might have some stray cats down there.'

'Bwah,' said Booster, and disappeared.

A while later, the team were sitting around, chatting mildly, doing there thing, when suddenly the entire building started shuddering and the roof above them was ripped off. There, above them, was hovering 'Atomax', and old adversary of the Justice League, with one hand pointed towards the roof, levitating it in the air.

'Not him,' muttered Black Canary. 'I hate him.'

Suddenly Atomax pointed his other hand towards them, and around them formed an invincible barrier of air molecules, all suddenly compressed together, and they were lifted up in the air, struggling to get free.

'My my,' said Atomax. 'No Superman to rescue you now.'

Down below Superman and Booster appeared, and Atomax spied Superman.

'He's powerless at the moment, isn't he,' said Atomax out loud,' and flinging the roof of the Justice League headquarters to the streets below, focused his now free hand on Superman, who was brought up, bundled tight alongside the rest of the JLI.

'Revenge is so sweet,' said Atomax.

'We're stuffed,' said Penguin King.

'Fudge for sure,' said Lady Chocolate.

'Worse than Ketchup. Tomato soup,' said Tomato Man.

Down below Booster thought quickly, and rushed down to the basement. 'Hey buddy,' he said, and opened a glass door. There it was. The Booster Gold armour. He needed it now, like never before.

'I think killing you all is too easy,' said Atomax.

'That's a relief,' said Blue Beetle.

'I will turn your molecules into chicken soup instead,' boasted Atomax.

'Oh, wonderful,' said Blue Beetle.

'This is not a laughing matter,' said Superman to Blue Beetle. He focused on Atomax. 'Atomax. Can we negotiate?'

'Negotiate on this,' said Atomax, and instantly Superman grew breasts.'

The team chuckled, while Supes was quite embarassed.

'Hey Buster,' said a voice. 'Moleculize this,' and suddenly a bolt of energy came from Booster Gold's weapons and hit Atomax in the side, forcing him to drop the JLI to the ground.

Blue Beetle recovered quickly and said 'What do we do?'

'Nothing,' said Superman, hiding his breasts. 'This is Booster's fight.'

'Puny Booster Gold. Threatener of stray pussy cats,' said Atomax.

'Enough with the jokes already,' said Booster Gold, and dodged a bolt of energy from Atomax.

'You are apparently the weakest link in the Justice League,' said Atomax.

'That may be so,' said Booster. 'But I can do this,' and suddenly Booster disappeared.

'Where has he gone,' said Atomax.

Suddenly Booster reappeared has he clambered into Atomax side on, and they dropped to the ground.

'Grab his arms,' Booster yelled to the team, and Superman and Big Sir responded instantly.

As they stood over the super villain, now unable to focus his energy bolts, Black Canary appeared, coming back from the basement, with a collar. She quickly strapped it around Atomax's neck,' and his bolts of energy stopped.

'Meta-gene negator,' said Black Canary to the team, and shrugged.

'I didn't know we had those,' said Blue Beetle.

'There's a lot you don't know,' said Booster Gold.

'Belle Reeve,' said Superman. 'They are the specialists for hosting this type. Can you take him in the Bug Ted?'

'Will do Big Blue,' said Blue Beetle saluting Superman, and Atomax was taken away. Right before they left the room, Atomax turned to Booster Gold. 'I will have my revenge on you one day, Booster Gold.'

'Bite me Pussy Cat,' responded Booster Gold, and they led him away.

Later on.

'I suppose even cat handlers have their day of glory,' said Blue Beetle to the group.

Everyone smiled, including Superman, now wearing one of Black Canary's bras under his costume. Booster said nothing.

'The RSPCA might even be interested,' said Blue Beetle. Booster still did not respond.

'But I'm sure a circus is his natural habitat,' finished Blue Beetle.

Booster Gold finally took the bait. 'Cat's occasionally eat beetles, don't they Ted?'

'Shaddup,' said Blue Beetle, as the team laughed, and another afternoons jibing continued in a Day in the Life of the Justice League International.

The End

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 18:

Return of the Hero Group – Part One

'Not lower Pluxa. I hate going to Lower pluxa,' said Blue Beetle.

'You've never been to Lower Pluxa,' responded Booster Gold.

'Yeh. But the Global Guardians rag on about it all the bloody time,' responded Blue Beetle.

'Ted. Your language,' said Dr Light.

'We are going off to see the Hero Group,' said Booster Gold. 'So compose yourself.'

As the Bug flew along, leaving Hull, headed towards Lower Pluxa in the middle east, Big Sir and the Penguin King at the control deck, Blue Beetle was in an animated mood.

'The Hero Group. What kind of idiot called them the Hero Group?'

'Show some respect, Ted. They are the Champions of the Middle East. They have defended that part of the world from all sorts of terrors. Especially against 'Jihad' which has threatened the middle east time and time again. Anyway, it was President Fortesq of Lower Pluxa who claims the glory for assembling the Hero Group. Learned his lesson on pride though.'

'How so?' asked Blue Beetle.

'Got his butt kicked in the boxing ring by General Harjavti of Bialya. Bialya has had the upper hand over Lower Pluxa ever since. Pardon the pun.'

Blue Beetle nodded.

Jihad was an extremist terrorist group, under the machinations of 'Imam Abdul Bizarr', dedicated to purging the world of all its infidels.

'The Hero Group. Sounds like a B Grade Conglomerate too me,' said Blue Beetle grinning.

'Ted. Watch it,' said Booster Gold.

The Bug reached the borders of Lower Pluxa, and soon they landed near a military complex in the south of the small nation.

The Hero group greeted them.

'I am Evolvo. Leader of the Here group,' said Evolvo, and extended his hand to shake Blue Beetle's.'

Instantly Ted felt like he was reverting to a primitive form of beetle, but it reversed back after a concerned look on Evolvo's face.

'Sorry about that,' said Evolvo.

'Don't sweat it,' responded Ted, who had recovered.

Particle Man appeared.

'Life's a party,' said the hero, dressed in a body suit of all white, with black asterisks representing particles, presumably, all over it.

'Your the funny guy, right?' queried Blue Beetle.

'What do you call the Blue Beetle in England?' asked the Particle Man.

'What?' asked Ted.

'The Fifth Beatle,' replied Particle Man, and started grinning madly.

'And pretty bad jokes at that by the looks of it,' said the Blue Beetle.

'This is Good Time,' said Evolvo to Booster Gold, and a lady, dressed in Scarlett today, in a long flowing and cheekily revealing red dress smiled and patted her eyes at Booster, who was suddenly in love.

'You can meet the rest of us later,' said Evolvo. 'For now, to the control room to analyze ths latest move from Jihad.'

'Sure,' said Booster, who was flirting with Good Time.

'Whatever you want,' said Blue Beetle, who was cracking jokes with Particle Man.

Evolvo shook his head in frustration, and Penguin King came forward.

'I'm Penguin King. And this is Big Sir and Dr Light. Don't worry about the other two. They are just tagging along for kicks,' said the Penguin King,' shaking his head also at Blue and Gold.

Inside the Control Room, Booster Gold and Good Time had exchanged phone numbers, and were starting to already talk family. She seemed so very comforting. Blue Beetle had found his comedic soulmate, and was exhausting a lifetime of bad jokes with Particle Man, and really he had a few to get through.

'What is the threat?' asked Dr Light. 'Apparently I can be of great help?'

'Apparently,' said Evolvo, the rest of the Hero Group having come into the room. 'Apparently they have a device, somewhere south of Bialya in the disputed territories, which can divert solar energy from the sun away from its target. That is the information that has filtered through to us from our monitorings.'

'You think Lower Pluxa will be threatened?' queried Dr Light.

'That is our biggest fear,' said Wrapper, whose power was to make coils of wrapping plastic shoot forth from his hands.

'Naturally, Bialya deny all involement with Jihad, who we suspect is behind the newest threat. But the disputed territories are no long contended for by any other nation, and Bialya has been free to take control for the last half a dozen years. We are sure they were working with Jihad,' said the feminine Heroine Compass.

'But you have no proof, right,' said the Penguin King.

'Nothing as of yet,' said Desensitizer. 'It has always been tricky pinning anything down on Harjavti.'

'He has long been a problem to the league too,' responded Dr Light.

'So what is the initial plan?' asked the Penguin King.

The Heroine Move'n'Shaker spoke. 'That is were you guys come in. First things first. A diplomatic mission. Of the Justice League International to Bialya.'

'Obvously,' said the Penguin King. And then?'

'Then we rely on the wisdom of the Amazing Blue Beetle?' said Evolvo.

And all eyes turned to look at Blue Beetle, who had been making merry with Particle Man, who looked at everyone and said. 'All up to the Blue Beetle? Bwah ha ha ha.'

'Here we go again,' said Booster Gold.

The End of Part One

A Day in the Life of the Justice League International 19:

Return of the Hero Group – Part Two 'The Wisdom of the Amazing Blue Beetle'

'A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says why the long face.'

'Gotcha,' said Blue Beetle, no longer laughing at Particle Man's jokes.

What's Black and White and Red all over?' asked Particle Man.

'Surprise me,' said Bluey.

'Michael Jackson with a bleeding nose,' responded the grinning Particle Man.

'Humph,' went Blue Beetle. Another tragically bad joke.

The Bug was well into Bialya Airspace, and they had been directed to land at the main city airport. Technically it was a diplomatic mission of the JLI, but Bialya were always cagey about the JLI.

As the team departed the Bug, Queen Bee met them in the airport lounge.

'Greetings Booster Gold. We meet again.'

'I thought you were dead,' said Booster Gold.

'I was,' she responded, glaring at the Hero Group.

'My my. The fools from Lower Pluxa,' said Queen Bee, gazing upon the Hero Group. 'You did not inform us they would be accompanying you.'

Blue Beetle spoke quickly. 'Hey, Queenie. Nice dress. Very – yellow,' he said about her bright clothing.

'Me and Party here go way back,' said Blue Beetle, suddenly hugging Particle Man from the side. 'Why he's practically family.'

The Queen looked at Particle Man for confirmation. 'I believe Blue Beetle is currently engaged to my half-sister from Yemen. Yes we are incredibly close,' responded the grinning Particle Man.

The Queen looked back at Blue Beetle. 'Uh, yeh. Sure. J EEE AAA EEEE UUUUU AAAA E – Z – E – B – E – L. That's right. Jezebel and I have been dating for weeks now. She's all woman.' said Blue Beetle.

'At 160 Kilos she is indeed all woman,' said Particle Man.

Blue Beetle gulped.

'Fascinating. I must meet this Jezebel,' said the Queen, and returned her focus to Booster Gold.

'We have a lush suite reserved for you. Nothing but the finest of Bialyan hospitality for the Justice League International. Baruch shall guide you to your lodgings. We will meet tomorrow night a the Annual Bialya City Ball. I am sure you will wear something' …. she said, wrapping her arm over Booster's shoulder,...'Appropriate.'

'Sure will QB,' said Booster.

The Queen smiled, and gave one last perplexed looked at Blue Beetle and Particle Man,' and turned and walked off. Suddenly a Bialyan male appeared in front of them with a name badge reading 'Baruch' and said. 'You shall follow me. Yes?'

'I guess so,' said Booster Gold.

As Baruch lead them out of the airport Evolvo spoke to Booster Gold. 'That went well enough to start with. Hopefully our mission will continue to be as smooth.'

Good Time, dressed in green and red spoke up. 'I don't think it will be that easy, Evolvo. It never is with Bialya.'

'They have been a thorn in our side for so long now,' said Compass to Dr Light. 'It is one of those challenges that life throws at you.'

'Tell me about it,' said Booster Gold to himself, listening to the conversation, glancing sideways at the comedic Blue Beetle and Particle Man. The Particle Man which had stolen his own glory in Blue and Gold.

They were brought into a small bus, and driven half way across Bialya City to a very scruffy and run down looking hotel.

'Here it is. Bialya's finest. The Decadent Harlot Hotel,' said Baruch as the team climbed out of the bus.

Just then a sign with 'Vacancies' lit up flickered for a while, and went off.

'They must be saving electricity,' said Baruch apologetically.

'Here we go again,' said Booster Gold.

Inside

'Hey, Booster. Our toilet has toilet paper.'

'Luxury of luxuries,' replied Booster. The other rooms assigned to their group failed to include many such 'necessities.'

Blue Beetle shortly appeared, holding the hotel towels. 'These are compliment, right?' said Ted smiling.

'Sit down, Ted. We need to chat.'

Blue Beetle sat down in the armchair, and picked up a Bialyan magazine.

'I don't know how to say this, Ted. But do you think a zing has gone out of our relationship?'

'Ooh, hovercraft,' said Ted, looking at a picture in the magazine.

'Ted, I'm serious.'

'Booster, time moves on. We are not always going to be the invincible Blue and Gold. Sometimes changes happen. Don't sweat it man. I'll always be your number one buddy.'

Booster was consoled on that statement. 'Well, tomorrow we will be busy. I have something special planned for our new Queen.'

'What's the news?' asked Blue.

'A dramatic entrance. To keep them offguard while Dr Light and Good Time go snooping.'

'And if there is one thing we are good at,' said Blue Beetle.

'It's dramatic entrances,' finished Booster Gold. 'Just don't make a clown of yourself, ok.'

'Moi?' said Blue Beetle. 'When is the last time I ever made a clown of myself.' But noticing the look on Booster Gold's face, Ted continued, 'Don't answer that question.'

'Well, its best we turn in. A busy day tomorrow. But I want to say one thing. You'll always be my number one buddy as well, bro.'

'I should introduce you to Particle Man,' replied Blue Beetle.

'Here we go again,' said Booster Gold.

Booster didn't get much sleep that night. Tales of Particle Man's adventures filled the air. He didn't mind, though. He didn't mind at all.

The End of Part Two


End file.
